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The money terror

The money terror

A whole lot of people are scared to death about money.
Not having any. Not having enough. Running out of what’s here now and living out of a shopping cart under a bridge.
Of course you realize that if all the people who were afraid of being homeless actually ended up homeless...

People would be stacked in chest-high piles in the streets.
Which is not the case.
But never mind.
And omg where will more money come from? Clearly no one is hiring or clients won’t come or the stock market won't recover.
There is absolute certainty that this is a real problem, a real danger.
Surely there’s something that can be DONE to make money happen and ease this panic.
Read up. Take internet courses. Make budgets and cut back.
Do everything but notice whether there is an actual problem.
Refuse to consider that maybe there’s nothing you can do.
That feels too dangerous.
Nothing but doom can come of letting go of this particular problem.
Everyone knows this.
“I have to solve it!”
See how important that makes you?

How solid, how real?
How handy.
What if all that worry and panic is not really about money?

Yes, it does look like it’s about money.
But maybe it’s not.
What if terror about money is just another way to solidify the self-story?
“Hi, I’m me, I’m (insert name here), I’m worried about money.”
Okay, okay, stop rolling your eyes and just play with me a moment.
You’ve been fretting about trying to solve this situation for a while now, right?
Is it working?

Let's consider something different.
Maybe worrying about money is a trick, a deception, a ploy, of thought.
“Look over here at this disaster! Pay no attention over there, where you’re safe right now. No no, over here, over here!”
It seems to all depend on YOU.
It feels miserable. But it does the job.
The me-story gets to survive. Unnoticed. On autopilot.
Because while the song repeats, “I need money I need money what about money danger danger money I need money,” like an old cassette tape on replay,
repetition locks your attention into problem, solutions, fears,

and ignores…
WHAT is in actual danger?
What needs to be in charge, do something, fix things, get money?
What needs money?
Point to it.
Is it that body? Elbows, heart, fingers? They don’t care about money.
They don’t care if they live or die either.
How about whatever it is that notices body, or that “sense’ of Me- does that need money?
What for?
So…. what exactly is in danger, needs more, needs a solution?
Could it be… nothing?
I know when you’re scared to death about money that this kind of talk seems like, “Look lady, don’t distract me with this woo-woo crap. I have a real problem here.”
But it could just be that when it’s seen there is nothing here that has a problem and nothing to solve, options open up.
Without you.
Solutions show up.
Solutions that don’t involve you as the King Of All Answers.
Maybe you don’t actually need to know how to solve things.
Maybe it’s not up to you. Maybe you don’t need to know anything.

Maybe it will take care of itself.
Because the habit of focusing on oneself as real solid problem and solution all in one can get in the way of openness to something bigger, something not-me, something wiser and with unlimited options available.
It could be that when you notice how the thought, “I am the one who has to do something” creates a sense of ME,
you also begin to notice that money comes from surprising places, in surprising ways.
By itself.
It doesn’t need you to run the show and figure things out.
An idea comes in the middle of the night, someone sends money out of the blue, a job appears out of nowhere, a new love turns into marriage, a relocation opportunity effortlessly arises.
When you’re hyperventilating and thinking it’s all up to you, you might fail to notice how answers show up on their own.
Yeah you might still be scared.
Yeah you’ll probably still be triggered by the sight of a bank statement. You’ll probably still focus on disastrous-future thoughts.
That’s what habits do.

They repeat.
That may not be fun.
But it’s also not the doom-filled end of the world.

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